Table Talk

Hello Friends and Kittens, I'm Twinkie, your host, and welcome to the first edition of Table Talk.



Today I'd like to broach the subject of body image and my mom's juvenile attempts to poke fun at me. This kitten is not amused. Yes, I am potato shaped, and darn proud of it! It's taken many years for us Brits to reach our happy state of couch zen. Who am I to argue perfection?



So I say, to all of you big kittens out there, rise up! Wait - are you getting my good side?



Let's try this again *ahem* RISE UP KITTEHS and be PROUD of your tater form!



Then sit right back down again. Seriously, hard work is for the dogs.

The excitement of a new table

Mom bought me a new table for my birthday. It was VERY exciting to put together! I like to think of myself as a master handi-kitty, and tables are my forte.

First of all, she had to show me what the washers looked like... They were HIGHLY battable.



Then she gave me some tips on how it all goes together. I didn't approve of the method she used - where's the socket wrench?



Finally I just had to take things into my own paws to get it done. Those bolts aren't easy to handle, but handi-kitty can do it all!

Thank god for the holiday weekend!

I'm exhausted. Long week of getting mom up for work, killing spiders, chasing those rogue straws. Tough on a growing girl. I must save energy for my birthday... I'll be one year old on Monday! Mom says she gets the day off to celebrate!

New TV!

Mom got me a new TV today!

First we had to rip up everything. That was fun. Wires everywhere. Then she wheeled in my tiny TV, so I could watch it while we waited for the OOPS man.



Then GRANMA came over with that air head rag-a-muffin baboo. I don't know why she dotes on him. He's not nearly as cute as me.



And then she keeps him IN A CAGE. Like that little boy needs to be kept in a cage...



It took them forever - humans are so slow when assembling things. Such a waste of opposumable thumbs. But I DO approve of the final result. A very nice tv for ME to watch when moms at work. Leave it on animal planet, will ya?

Morning photo shoot

This morning, I was enjoying a nice nap in my portable bed in the living room when mom disturbed me.



It was time for my morning photo shoot?! What, where's my stylist? My spa appt isn't until this friday!



Oh well, a kitten's got to make due...

I'm ready for my close up. I expect royalties. And canned food. The good stuff.

The joys of recyclable bags

I love my Whole Foods Bag.



I can play with it, lay in it, lay on it... and the next day, it's always ready for more.



Mom always leaves one next to her computer chair now. So thoughtful. I'll have to remember to reward her with a treat.

Shrinking kitty beds!

I am not amused. My kitty bed has shrunk. This thing use to fit me perfectly! Mom must have washed it too much. The only way I can lay on it now, is to lean against the wall and let my delicate hind quarters hang off. How crude.



I suppose I shall be forced to move to the cedar chest. At least when I fall off those pillows, it's not as noticeable.